Grief and Expression of Emotions

Today I received news that a teacher of mine passed away. She was not only a teacher but a healer. The Universe gifted me only a couple of times of sitting in ceremony with her, but that's how powerful she was and still is. Needless to say, but this morning was heartbreaking. One minute I was in great joy and gratitude. The next, I was in complete heartbreak. But how could I feel this deep grief for someone I barely knew? Sometimes our most prominent teachers in life only spend a brief moment with us. It could be in passing, a quick workshop, or through a podcast. Our spirits don't care about time or material circumstances; instead, it's all about connection.

The news of her passing was heartbreaking and flipped me into a day of crying. I allowed the emotions to pour out of me rather than suppress them. My brain was trying to dissect this wave of heart emotions. Logically it seems utterly bizarre that I could feel this intensely about someone that didn't know my name. But her impact on me is forever branded on my soul. That's how powerful she was and still is.

Paolo gifted me with one of the most significant experiences—the teaching of self-forgiveness. During my first cacao ceremony at Spirit Weaver's, my heart opened, and I got to see how much pain I had inflicted upon myself over the years. Before that circle, I had lost a close group of friends that I considered family. That pain sat with me for a while, and I questioned myself in the process of letting go. Paola taught me that it is us that creates what we see. While I had been dwelling upon the past with feelings of rejection, that pain was self-inflicted. My heart was genuinely breaking because I hated myself instead of being gentle to my heart. During our journey in this life, we experienced many highs and lows. All of its gifts to learn more about ourselves in the process: I am grateful to Paola. May her teachings still carry on, and may her legacy shine upon all of us: love and light, Paola.